Over to you Roger!

So, mastitis claimed the feeding life of Lasquisha.

'Twas a sad day.

Not for D though, she doesn't care which side she gets her milk from, as long as she gets it. I sought some support and reassurance that it was ok to just feed from one side and the best answer I got was "Of course. Mothers of twins will only ever feed from one side per baby" Makes sense really!

The main issue I had with this was more cosmetic than anything, and that was that I become incredibly lop sided!! Because Roger was doing the work for both him and Lasquisha, he doubled in size, whilst Lasquisha shrunk down to her former ways.

Evidently, there is little I can do about this. I have continued to express Lasquisha, and this hasn't really helped. I have tried feeding from her at least once a day but D becomes so frustrated with it that I cant continue. Shame really.

The other problem I gained from only feeding from one side, was something I had been dreading since day one.....

Cracking and bleeding...... and I thought the mastitis was bad. No getting away from this one. D had to be fed, and there was only one boob that would do it, and that boob was now host to a very very sore nipple.

More advice sought "give it lots of air, express a little milk and rub it in, use good cream etc etc" So, much to my husbands amusement, I spent the evenings walking around with Roger hanging out, constantly rubbing milk into him followed by cream. After a while it did settle, but there was so little I could do apart from wince, shed a tear, and breath through it.....

I kept repeating "I've done child birth, I can do this" Over and over until the feed was done.

By this time in my feeding journey, I honestly felt like it was starting to be not worth it anymore. I still wasn't enjoying it, it didn't feel natural, and everyday felt like another problem or issue I had to face. I totally understand why women give up feeding, I do. I started to feel like a failure.

SURELY BREASTFEEDING SHOULD BE THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD? WHY IS IT SO DAMN HARD??

But every time I looked at D, and got her weighed, and knew she was happy and healthy, I knew I couldn't give it up..... and NOW, I am so glad I didn't.

The journey continues.......