My journey into breastfeeding began at 7.59am on the 4th May 2013, when after nearly 9 months of waiting, we welcome our little lady Dorothy into our lives. I had read so many stories of babies being born and instantly heading for the boob, instantly latching and having their first taste of the good stuff.... which made the fact that this didn't happen to me and Dorothy a little disheartening.
The midwives would comment 'oooo, you know what she is looking for?!' is she went anywhere near my boob, or my husbands 'boob' for that matter, but she just didn't get it.... or maybe I didn't get it... either way, it was not the start I had hoped for.
After a few failed attempts, the intervention started. Pocking, prodding, pulling - I honestly didn't think my boobs were so flexible. Any time D opened her mouth they were on my like a rash, I literally had nothing to do, I wasn't even holding her whilst they tried to get her to feed. Starting to worry....
For the first few hours, I had to feed my baby by expressing and forcing it into her using a syringe, writing down how much she had had, and which side I had got it from. Not the way I thought breastfeeding would be at all. I started to feel very low about the whole thing, and wondering if this was actually sustainable, or wether I should cut my losses and go straight for the bottle.
The came more comments from the midwives, just to help things along even further;
'you might find this really difficult because your so pale and sensitive to pain' - I am a ginger and damn proud of it, and I have just given birth using no pain relief whatsoever thank you very much!
'you have quite little nipples, you are going to find this tough and will have to work very hard at it.' - Oh thanks, I'd never realised there was an issue before, and now you have just cast doubt over the most important aspect of being a mum - feeding my child.
All I wanted was to be left alone with my baby, to try and figure her out, and to get there on my own. I knew I could do it, and after the initial 'bottle feeding' thought, I was more determined than ever to make it work. Bugger off the lot of you and leave me to it. You're man handling of my boobs is not helping!!
I decided to make things a little easier and more comical for myself I would name my boobs - normal! I have just named my child, I though I would carry on naming stuff. So I named the Right Roger, and the Left Lasquisha. I think you'll agree that the names are fantastic, and I hope you will all be doing this.....
I continued to express using my hands into a little cup, and after expressing off Lasquisha, with nobody there to bother me, and my little nipple definitely big enough for D, I popped her on to see if I could do it by myself....
LATCH! SUCK! DRINK! Dorothy and Mummy for the Win!! It was 2pm, and finally we had done it. It didn't take long to fill her tummy, but I knew right then, that there was no way I was going to give this fight up. I knew it was going to be hard - people had told me this, but nothing was too hard for this little lady.
The journey continues.....
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